sweet salvation

Thursday, November 5, 2009

lists lists lists. I love lists. I am good at lists. I can make a list, do the things, check it off. Done! Accomplished! SUCCESS! I am awesome! right?

I love making grocery lists, chore lists, lists of prayers, lists of food, friends, anything! Write a list, it'll get done! I even make lists of doing good.

__ Be nice to others
__ Pray
__ Go to Church
__ Follow Jesus
__ Do the right things
__ Volunteer
__ Serve others
__ ETC.....

What is this list for? This is the list that a lot of people live by. Not exactly this list, I didn't copy it from some guide book to life... it's the list of what we should do. right? It's like how to get to heaven 101.... these are the things to do. This is how I have lived so often. In the Mormon church, and out of it.

What a flawed person I am.

What a flawed belief this is.

The whole point of Jesus dying is because I can't do this list. It doesn't matter where I go, what I do, the things I check off will never get me into heaven. I'm not perfect. I will not be perfect in this life.

Brian has been writing a paper that has harshly reminded me of the path to perfection which I've tried so hard to give up. It's like a drug. I understand why people think this way, I think this way!
Does that make it truth?
No.

Oh how my heart aches to scream it! STOP RUNNING! You cannot be perfect.
You don't Have to!

I don't have to.
Oh sweet salvation, how have you won my heart, and yet it keeps on straying.
Please Sweet Salvation, hang on to my heart, because I can not, but you can. and you do.
It is you who sought me. You who pulled me close. You who holds me dear.
And it's despite my failure I fear.

I love you Sweet Salvation; Jesus! my God!

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